Do you feel like your relationship could be better than it is?
Here are 7 things you can implement into your life and relationship immediately at no cost. If you continue to do these 7 things after the first week, your relationships will benefit greatly.
Day 1: Put the Past Behind You
Forgive others. This isn’t about right or wrong, it’s about letting go of things and moving forward with your life. You can’t go forward with your significant other if you’re always looking to something you did or something they did in the past. The past is over and done with, there’s no changing it.
If you find things of the past resurfacing in present arguments, this is a key indicator you haven’t moved on from it. Put it behind you and watch your relationship transform right before your very eyes.
Action Step: Find something you’ve held onto in the past, forgive, and move on from it. If you feel guilty about something from the past, apologize, and ask for forgiveness.
Day 2: Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
There’s nothing wrong with being romantic but real life doesn’t happen like it does in the books or movies. These books and movies are in fiction, not documentaries, for a reason. Keep it there.
Everyone has qualities they want in a partner but if your list is more than 5-10 things long, it’s time to re-examine it to see if you’re being too picky. Try to limit the qualities you want to real deal breakers. If you’re looking to get swept off your feet by a sparkly vampire, you’re going to be disappointed.
Don’t compare your relationship or yourself to others. Compare them to only the goals you set. Where were you a year ago, where are you now, and where do you want to be in a year — that’s all that matters, every relationship is unique.
Action Step: Recognize when you’re being unrealistic, set goals for your relationship, and try to reach them.
Day 3: Take Care of Yourself
Don’t get complacent. Exercise and diet like you are single and still dating. Don’t sit around on the couch and grow a beer gut because you are lazy. Good exercise and diet not only keeps you looking attractive, but it helps you feel better about yourself. When you feel better about yourself, you’ll feel better about your life, and your relationship will benefit.
Everyone wants someone to love them no matter what, but don’t take advantage of this just because you found someone to spend the rest of your life with. Take care of yourself so you can be happy and enjoy a long life. Take care of yourself so you can still be the sexy you that your partner fell in love with.
Action Step: Pay attention to your eating habits and start exercising if you’re not.
Day 4: Sleep On It
If you’ve ever heard the phrase, “Don’t go to bed angry”, you’ve been given terrible advice when it comes to relationships and arguments. Go to bed angry, you’ll find that when you wake up the argument didn’t matter as much as you thought it did and you’ll see things in a calmer more peaceful way.
The worst thing you can do in a heavy disagreement is sit there and hash it out with someone. Usually both people end up angry, then they end up insulting each other, and in almost every case, people forget what the argument was about and become upset over the insults instead.
It’s best to avoid arguments at all. Girls, talk to your girlfriends to vent. Men are wired to solve problems and become easily frustrated and tired. Simply put, we don’t understand venting, we like to fix things.
Action Step: Try not to overreact in arguments. Speak your mind and be polite. If you can’t solve it, sleep on it, don’t rip each others hearts out.
Day 5: Cuddle More
In long-term relationships cuddling is just as important as sex. They both result in the release of oxytocin which helps us bond together. Cuddling and sex lowers stress, makes you feel connected, and makes you feel good.
Don’t skip either, schedule sex or “date nights” that result in sex. People that tell you sex should always be spontaneous have unrealistic expectations (see Day 2). Yes, from time to time neither of you will be in the mood and you’ll look at each other and go to town randomly, but for the most part that doesn’t happen often enough.
Sex is very important, the more you have, the more you’ll want — it brings intimacy into the relationship. Scheduling allows for roleplaying (lingerie), massages, and random placement or whatever you’re into.
Action Step: Cuddle and have sex more, you can always find time for both, even if it’s a quicky in the family restroom at the mall.
Day 6: Delete Distractions
Live in the present moment. If you’re on a date, be on a date, don’t whip out your cell phone and talk to or text someone. Clear your mind and pay attention to the person you’re with. Facebook and your friends can wait — be where you are with the person you’re with.
If you have friends or exes that seem to only show up whenever you finally get serious with someone who can commit, kick them out of your life. Delete the negativity, delete these toxic people.
Exes show up with promises and attempts to get back together and friends pop up out of nowhere trying to take time from your relationship and your happiness, kick them to the curb. Toxic people were put on this earth and into your life to test your resolve. So pass the test.
Action Step: Block/ignore toxic people for good. Leave your phone in the car or off while spending time with your loved ones, everyone else can wait. Emergencies are no excuse, people call 911 for real ones, not your cell phone.
Day 7: Gifts and Adventures
If you’ve ever heard the phrase, “It’s the little things that matter the most” then you’ll understand that this may be one of the most important days to making your relationship perfect. By perfect, I mean perfectly imperfect for the two of you because every relationship has issues.
Small gifts, whether it be flowers, a soda, a candy bar, or some other obscure thing go a long, long, long way and have a bigger impact on your significant other than you think. Remember how good you felt the last time you received something simple like an unexpected beverage?
Compliments are something that should be spoken regularly. I’m not telling you to force compliments but if you look at your girl and think she looks beautiful today — say it. Say any positive thought you have to show appreciation, no matter how big or small. If you have something good to say, say it.
Go on random adventures. This doesn’t have to be a trip to some exotic island but you should go somewhere you haven’t before, do something you’ve never done, or do anything at all together. Even if it’s eating at a new restaurant or going golfing for the first time. It doesn’t matter how far or how grand it is, little adventures add up to great things, and create memories that last forever.
Action Step: Surprise your significant other with a random adventure. Make one day a week or month for random adventures and rotate who picks the adventure. Give gifts and speak kind words as often as you can.
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