“Life is never boring but some people choose to be bored.
The concept of of boredom entails an inability to use up present moments in a personally fulfilling way. Boredom is a choice; something you visit upon yourself, and it is another of those self-defeating items that you can eliminate from your life.
When you procrastinate, you use your present moments doing nothing, as an alternative to doing anything.
Doing nothing leads to boredom.
The tendency is to blame boredom on the environment. “This town is really dull” or “What a boring speaker.” The particular town or speaker is never dull, it is you experiencing the boredom, and you can eliminate it by doing something else with your mind or energy at that moment.
Samuel Butler said, “The man who lets himself be bored is even more contemptible than the bore.” By doing what you choose, now, or using your mind in creative new ways now, you can insure that you’ll never again choose boredom for yourself. The choice, as always, is yours.”
-Wayne Dyer, Your Erroneous Zones
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Boredom is a self inflicted psychological disorder.
We’ve created a generation of children that are unappreciative of the opportunities they have today that we didn’t. Too many times I hear children say they are bored and too many times I hear adults say they are bored and unhappy.
Boredom is mind boggling, there is no such thing as boredom, only boring people.
There are so many things to do these days that it causes a decision paralysis where people don’t know what to do so they fail to keep themselves occupied or do nothing instead.
Todays level of entertainment and expectations have been raised to an unrealistic and impossible to satisfy level for these bored people. It creates an unfulfilling cycle for them.
Ask someone that’s bored what they want to do and they will normally say “I don’t know, anything…something” and when you suggest things they say anything but that and it goes on and on until you’ve exhausted possibilities. For the most part, they don’t actually feel like doing anything except complaining.
There is always something to do, when you don’t want to do anything, this is actually a state of depression disguised as boredom, not boredom itself. Remember, boredom doesn’t exist, boring people do, but sometimes boring people, are actually depressed people.
And for most people, depression is only a state of mind supported by your thoughts. It’s what you tell yourself that keeps you feeling the way you do. Remove the negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones and your state of mind changes almost instantly.
In a state of depression people don’t feel like engaging in any activities whatsoever and have a hard time picking one. They feel they want to do something, perhaps something they haven’t done before, but they can’t tell you what that is. They pass on the responsibility of keeping themselves happy to other people and most of the time the other people have no idea what to do for them either.
So the cycle continues;
“What do you want to do?”
“I don’t know what do you want to do?”
“I don’t know, I’m bored.”
“Me too.”
Boy a lot was accomplished in that conversation.
Instead of doing something they do nothing and just sit around complaining about being bored while blaming everything else but themselves.
There are an infinite amount of excuses:
- Nobody that wants to do anything exciting
- People are busy
- This area sucks
- It’s too late
- It’s too early
- That’s too far
- That cost too much money
- We did that last week
Maybe the point of expressing you’re bored is to bring someone else down to a depressed level to share your boredom with because most of the time that is what ends up happening after you wear out their suggestions.
With so many things to do it can be overwhelming to pick just one especially if you’re one of those people that has done so many activities that you’ve developed an activity cool down timer where you can’t repeat it for a certain period of time. People have this problem with food because they live to eat instead of eating to live.
There are plenty of happy people that do nothing but go to the beach everyday and surf, they are enthusiastic about life and enjoy that hobby. There are many people who are very happy with their lives even though they may seem routine to the depressed, it just works.
People are able to keep themselves occupied with very few activities, the ones that seem to have the most problems with depression are those that are all over the place doing everything.
I’ve heard people complain about going on vacation because it’s to a spot they’ve already been before, meanwhile they’re surrounded by a ton of people that never go on any vacations and are happy and not bored.
It’s not the activity or the location that determines your state of mind, it’s your state of mind that determines whether or not you’re going to be happy or bored. If you view everything in a negative light and don’t appreciate the little things, you’re going to experience mental boredom, aka depression.
Just to think that 200+ years ago depression and unhappiness was a term reserved for the enslaved or people being compelled against their will, now it’s something used in common language to simply explain that you don’t “feel” like doing anything.
It’s only getting worse as time goes on and we are able to travel further and do more and more things through electronics. More people are becoming bored and unhappy at an alarming rate. People start to feel as if they are missing out on something and everyone is always looking outside of themselves to fulfill their quest for happiness.
Go for a drive in the country, get out of your car, leave all your electronics behind and walk for a mile out into the middle of the woods. When you get there, take a look around; what you see is almost all people had 200+ years ago when the words unhappy and bored barely existed.
If these people were able to be content with their life and keep themselves occupied, then what excuses do we have?
Compared to them, we have everything available to us right now, but you see that statement is actually just a misleading paradigm.
Back then they had everything they needed and today we pretend we need things we don’t. Back then they had it all and today we have nothing because the difference between the two is that they were self reliant and emotionally stable people while people today are psychotic and insane by comparison.
In this paradigm we actually have less and less as technology advances because we have less and less of ourselves and more and more things we don’t need to keep us occupied which makes us less self reliant.
Even 30 years ago people were lucky if they had any gaming system or a TV in their house. They fished, played kick the can, rode their bikes, and enjoyed life. If you tell an 8 year old to do what they did 30 years ago they’d have a panic attack, but that’s what really needs to be done.
Send your kids outside with nothing into the middle of nowhere, make them learn to be happy on their own with nothing. Let them gain some appreciation for things we have, remember they don’t remember another time. Kids these days take everything for granted. Kids 30 years ago were happier and grew up with more appreciation when all they had for excitement was to take a stick and dig a hole.
The age of technology has created a lazy generation of dependency and unhappiness. The only thing we have accomplished is reducing our physical activity and health which has led to a generation sicker than any other in history.
Having a spouse or significant other that reverts to a bored state of depression can be extremely hard on a relationship. In a relationship, the other person always wants to do what they can to help the other person find themselves and be happy but at some point you have to draw the line.
If you make yourself responsible for their boredom or unhappiness you’re setting your relationship up for failure and will probably fall into the same state of mind as they are.
It can be extremely stressful and frustrating to solve their depression by offering suggestions and trying to help them through it. Most of the time they will be short and rude toward you while offering suggestions and make comments that indicate that you’re somehow at fault for their state of mind because you failed to setup a proper agenda and activity level for them.
This is bullshit, don’t take responsibility for their faults.
You have to separate it and realize that their boredom is their problem not yours. If they wanted to do stuff they would plan it, schedule it, and invite you or at least discuss things with you before they became “bored”.
The reason why there is nothing planned and you are blindsided by their boredom attack is because it’s a form of depression, a psychological disorder, that can be brought on very quickly just by their thoughts.
Again, there is nothing you can do for them, if you jump to action and try to please them it won’t cure or solve their problem. They’ll expect you to rescue them again but the more troubling thing is that they will never be satisfied. You do one thing for them that was a huge sacrifice for you and it can be the very next day when they are at your throats or causing you stress again because they are bored.
You must understand what boredom really is and what it really means, it’s the only chance you have of eliminating it from your life.
Whoever wrote this, this is the most infuriating piece of garbage. As someone who suffers from depression and lives in a tiny town with no attractions besides bars, I am not doing this to myself. I do not have the money to move or drive elsewhere for activities. And I’m not one to sit in front of the tv, and even reading books becomes boring after days on end.
You are exactly who he is talking about. And OMG, I thought you were me for a second until I remembered that I did not write what you said. There are so many things I could do but mostly, I just want a house of my own, a pitbull, and a warm beach with some sunshine. I am making all these things my goal. Planning can help you get out of a funk.
Absolutely agree.
Its true, i do just that. The boredom comes from my sadness. Sadness come from this modern day craziness.
The only cure to a depression is changing and controling your mind. And realizing we are overblessed today compared to people before us who had almost nothing. All the things we haven are distractions to make us feel like this. Taking pills and making excuses dont help only you can help yourself
The author of this article has obviously never had depression once in their life, nor have they ever cared to understand someone who has.
I know. I have depression.
What a boring article
I wholeheartedly agree.
People will read this and they won’t like it. But i’ve never read anything closer to the truth. I’m one of those people who is constantly bored and never feels like doing anything and this article describes me perfectly. Other people will rubbish it, because they’re in denial. But you are absolutely spot on. This generation has an expectation level that can never truly be met. We get caught in a trap of repetitive tasks and complain how bored we are, while being too afraid to leave the little bubble that we’ve trapped ourselves in. There’s alternative things to do. Old things have become new things again and need to be rediscovered.
Fraser, I completely agree with you, this was written about me too. Let’s face it, we were looking for help when we typed in our problem. Sometimes we need a kick in the seat so that we realize that if we don’t make the choice to change, we could bring others down or we could be left all alone (we do not want that).
If depression and boredom and the cure for it could be explained and fixed this easily, why is everyone still bored and depressed?
Lmao exactly what I thought
Because its easier to blame everyone than take responsibility for your choices. I uses to be depressed too but then I realized that I was just making myself a victim and always thinking about what was wrong with everything instead of getting off my ass and choosing to do something different. I also started looking for more things to be grateful for and spent my time thinking about what I was grateful for instead of dwelling on the past and what I didn’t like. After a while, I realized nothing can make me unhappy except me. I chose happiness. I chose to think about positive things. I chose to think about what can I do right now instead of what happened to me yesterday. I took responsibility for my life and now I love it. And I’m happy wherever I am. If I’m not satisfied I just find something I’m grateful for then go do something else.
Wow, we choose to be bored? Damn, I bet I even chose my efcking eye color!
No kidding. The article makes some sense, but my god, it’s insensitive, and overdone.
Modern psychiatry still seems to want to paint everyone with the same brush when it comes to depression. The field of psychiatry will probably always be more nonsense than fact.
It’s not so much about being in deniel or needing tough love. Depression is more complicated than making somebody get out of bed and get sunlight. My friend, spouse, or other family member is so depressed they can’t even move, I should just ignore them for bringing me down? That is horrible advice. I mean no one ever killed themselves over that. People weren’t happier a long timeago. Things like mental illness was frowned on. Even in today’s society people with serious depression are told to just shake it off, that they are crazy, or pray the negative feelings away. Basically, you’re talking about a time period were people kept their mentally challenged kids locked away out of embarrassment.
I’ve worked with people who are 60+ and lot of them have told me they had depression before, especially when they were younger, and all they could do was put on a happy face and suffer in silence. This author is obviously just one of those people who blames the new society on their own problems. “Kids these days are so lazy. That’s why this has happened,” or “Millenials are screwing this country up.”
Society changes and so does the problems and obstacles that come with it. In 50 more years, this generation will be complaining about how easy we had it and so on. Even the parents of kids who grew up with Elvis gasped as he gyrated into their kids’ hearts.
My take away is if you have been relatively happy with your life and don’t show signs of major depression than maybe you have just hit a rut and need to make a few changes and try something new. However, if you feel like you are depressed and don’t enjoy the things you use to, I suggest seeking help from a friend who want brush you off, like this author would, or a professional. Don’t let somebody guilt trip you about your legimate feelings/problems, but also don’t let that be your excuse about getting help, if needed.
I’m applauding.
Very well said. I smiled the entire time I was reading your reply.
👏👏👏👏 All of what you said made more sense than the article !😄😄
So, just one question for the author.. Do you honestly believe that anyone of us in this massage board hasn’t attempted atleast once the strengthen our minds so that we can actually BE happy. As a mid 20’s individual, I have suffered numerous amounts of physiological abuse and to this day I have not scheduled or even thought of using prescription medication due to the abuse and like mindedness of my parents. I wake up every day, ready to achieve every single one of my personal goals, but living with depression is like having a demon on each shoulder. When you have nobody to turn to and those are your only options, IMO that creates a whole new meaning for being stuck between a rock and a hard place. I want you to actually take 1 single second out of your life to realize that the way you wrote your article or even worse if that’s your true opinion. Realize all this article is, is an attack on the sick. The people who have little or no control over their thought process. Better yet, imagine your child/spouse/ anything that means the world to you, they take their own life due to their illness. Let’s see if your opinions change now.
I always think of quotes like this when confronted with these type of thoughts,
This is true for every aspect of the beliefs we have about ourselves. Two people can go through almost identical circumstances and end up in different places. I do have sympathy for the things you have gone through but I just want you to realize that while no one lived your exact life, there are others who have suffered tremendous physiological abuse (you do mean physical abuse by this or was this a typo for psychological?)
Either way, physical or mental abuse, there are others who have gone through similar of what you have and still others that have gone through worse that refused to let the abuse define them. They live happy normal lives and refuse to be the victim. It is entirely possible to swap your mindset from a victim mentality and stop using the abuse as a crutch. You aren’t where you are in life because of what happened to you, you’re where you are in life because of the choices you made about the things that happened to you, in order to heal, you have to let go, and the easiest way to let go is to go out and live life to the fullest, fill your world with positive people, and if there are none, then become one.
Others have made the journey and I believe you can do it too. The point of this article was for people to realize while they can’t always control their circumstances, they can control their thoughts and beliefs, and the latter is what heavily contributes to continued depression.
Well I was bored until I read this well what I consider bored. it is true if nothing changes nothing changes
Interesting article but I disagree. Boredom is not a choice. Depression is not a choice. But I agree on the point that boredom can be a form of depression.
Actually when I don’t have internet nor the energy to go out, I feel bored. When I was younger and was in school I was bored. I guess it’s the same for most people who can’t go out nor communicate to people they share enough interests with, for example people who are in prison, in psychiatric hospitals, or even people who are stuck at home because of depression/social phobia/whatever.
Also I think that sometimes depression can be useful. When my life is too much hard to live, I have a long period of depression when it is useful to me not to do anything until I regain my energy.
Also not doing anything and feeling bored is not the same. It is frequent to just feel like wanting to rest in your bed inventing stories to yourself. It is not necessarily depression. When in depression sometimes I make myself feeling worst and worst by thinking of bad things, but I can’t do anything to change that.
Also when I’m bored actually I want to do something but don’t know what and it is painful. Sometimes it is so painful that it makes me think about suicide, and in that case it’s generally correlated to a period of severe depression.
Depression helped me grow more than anything else in my life so far.
I very much agree with you on every point.
When I was a kid this often happened to me and I was always hurt by the responses I got…ie: go play with something or somebody, stop feeling sorry for yourself etc. The subtle or not so subtle suggestion that I was bad for feeling bad, just never helped. It did make me understand that telling the truth was usually a bad thing and that it didn’t matter how I felt, I had to learn to say only what was expected to be respected.
And in adulthood I go through this too. The lack of focus turns into helplessness and then depression and it can really pack a wallop.
Here’s the problem: Our lives are too often just bloody absurd and pointless. Kids and all of us need meaningful connection and instead they and we are given (at best) diversion and sooner or later the scam shows itself. For adults the same problems they had as kids can hit much deeper and it can be that much harder to psych oneself out of it. Feeling aimless is not self pity. It is nothng to be ashamed of. It is a recognition that out lives are all too often just really empty and/or mindless, and that includes our (mostly) exploitive and idiotic and underpaid jobs and our makeplay pasttimes and our countless attempts to escape and break out of the routine only to find the new “solutions” just as demeaning and cut-off as the stuff we broke out of.
Depression in general is just the end result of countless moments like this, when we finally get the message that we ourselves absolutely do not matter in the grand (and often smaller) scheme of things.
People are more than trained monkeys but in this modern life we’re always supposed so grateful for any seemingly “healthy” or “gainful” occupation or activity, no matter how irrelevent to what our soul really craves, which is significance and purpose, and not just to oneself but to others and the world around us. How many of us really get to do that? How hurtful is it to see certain others engaging in what looks like fulfilling activity, only to find out it wasn’t really like that for them? Then we have to feel even more ashamed that we even looked around at the lives of others in comparison. What to do next is to pretend and feign satisfaction in some contrived experience to hide the shame and panic. But that only leads to a vicious circle and forestalls the inevitable truth, and that is that our lives in general are really artificial and often pointless, and most of have satisfactorily adapted and we are amiss for not having satisfactorily adapted. So we get depressed and no amount of “happy pills” or “self-help” or “therapy” will cure this cultural disease. The solution is a radical makeover of society itself from the inside out. Something has been stolen from all of us as a culture and it desperately need to be restored. What did you think I would say if you read my piece this far? How many other endemic social problems could find their solution in just that one insight? I know I won’t make any friends by saying any of this and I don’t care. The most eloquent social critics today don’t get much serious press, because they aren’t supposed to be really heard. Society needs a radical restructuring from the inside out so people have a reason to be here. Right now most of us are redundant and superfluous. It is really that ghastly and children complaining that there’s nothing to do are saying the truth. So am I.
This one kinda launched me into a state of existentialism, but I do very much agree with you.
i agree with this
Agreed wholeheartedly, but since I am in between depressive spirals right now, what do I do until society somehow gets restructured at some unknown point in the future?
For some background, I’ve been to counselors in the past, and aside from suggesting medication, they did not do much. My clinical depression is of the high-functioning variety, so I can get the bare minimum done in order to not be bothered much by others. And, over time, my choices have significantly reduced how much I have to interact with other people in general.
I’m not necessarily expecting you to have an answer, but I find it futile to wait for others who have little to no clue about this existential misery, including the author of this article, to provide any reasonable solution or antidote. From these people, I do not expect meaningful change, only more of the same.
A very smart insightful article! By the way I have depression. But I have never been bored. Entertainment is free, library books, looking at nature’s beauty, even a flower in your yard. Having a good laugh with a close friend. I think it’s very draining to be around people who complain of boredom, they are usually lazy! So when my always bored bf starts in I say “let’s get work done”. Cleaning, grocery shopping, etc. How have we created millions of ppl externally dependant on technology to find meaning in life? People need to find purpose and meaning, not new toys!
Interesting article and it’s right mostly apart from the choice bit. Yes a lot of bored people choose to be boreded and can choose not to be bored. However where he has it wrong is that does not apply to everyone. If someone is depressed that is not a choice. But again it is only the depressed person who can truly get themselves out of depression (maybe with help) but it still only something you can do for yourself. And often it’s not possible without serious help. But there are plenty of bored people who choose to be bored who are not depressed and can decide to be not bored if they wanted too. It’s a much greater area than the OP makes out.
Yea and he didn’t mention anything about the weather always being shit cause thats what’s stops peeps from doing anything. Also not having any funds. Just to take the kids to the farm to c a few animals cost money. What planet are these peeps on probably mars where it is always hot and their money grows on trees
So it’s my fault I’m depressed? Sure ok. then I guess its also my fault I’m anemic too by that logic.
I landed on this article in my quest to understand boredom. I am just glad I had a lot of reading before reading this.
For a psychological opinion, there is too much totalitarian generalizations in this article. Boredom cannot be solely defined as a form of depression, this is just wrong.
Yes, depression can cause boredom, and accepting boredom and living with it can also lead to depression, but there is so much more.
Our brains are wired differently!
For a quick example, a lot of people have a very active prefrontal cortex (hyeractives), leading to excessive boredom when their brain is not stimulated enough (some even call it “boredom attacks” due to the intensity). These people are not laying around and being depressed, they are trying actively all they can to get better and get out of it, but their special neural structure make it a daily struggle.
By insisting that boredom is only a form of depression, that there are only boring people, you are being aggressive for no good purpose or outcome.
It is very rare that a human feeling or condition could be traced to only one cause. I find no other terms to say it, but basically, this article is a lot closer to bullying than anything else..
I just have to say that I appreciate your work and your insights in itself, but this is not anywhere near the truth (at least, in my case).
Firstly, when I’d come to see the title of the article, I had immediately thought of something more opposite than your point. Depression does not act in this way and it is sad to say that having seen this article whilein such a rough time… Well, if you’ve sunk as low as most depressed people, this could prove to be harmful by just repeating what every idea and stereotype depression has always been boxed in with.
The idea that it is a simple matter of getting over it in the drop if a hat if you take the time to change your mindset.
Which, of course in the long course of recovery is crucial, but it is necessary to understand that depression is not something as easily controlled as this.
Each person with this certain illness has a separate case. But what you suggest is that depression is found to be at the fault of the person who are too lazy to even think of helping themselves. Frankly, this is not true and a little insensitive.
To anyone reading this with depression, either minorly bored with their lives slipping into grey as each day passes by or to those who have major ones that are desperately trying to look for answers over the internet for the comfort of simple knowledge that they are valid, I will repeat again, you are valid.
Not everyone could change their circumstances so easily. Boredom is a symptom of depression and that is a fact (highlight: symptom among many others).
What is written here almost gives the idea of the metaphor of the poor chosing to be poor for not… working in as high and reputable of a job than those in a more normal class. It could be done, but factors should be considered nonetheless. Ifyou are depressed, yes you get better (and I wholly believe in you lol), but do not punish yourself over the idea that you are that way because you don’t try hard enough to be happy nor did you choose to be sad. It’s called a mental illness for a reason and sometimes it handicaps people in their psyche. A thing of which they have to endure every second of the day.
Though your writing does make a point, I’m afraid the truth isn’t as exaggerated over the main point of depression being easily cured by being outgoing. It’s a bit off in the structure, honestly where you’ve almost painted a picture of which the depressed is in a state of unhappiness only because they choose to be.
I actually am just leaving this comment for those who are a bit like me who feel powerless to their sudden… unhappiness and has come to read something to help.
But thank you for your work! It was fun to read and insightful! It was written to be so interesting and you’ve done a great job at having the brought to the reader your message and perspective.
The person who wrote this needs a serious reality check
So you’re basically telling depressed people that they’re boring.
Maybe this article is true for some, but loss of interest and no longer feeling enjoyment from things you used to enjoy a lot, can be part of depression. I’ve been dealing with generalized anxiety, OCD and depression for most of my life. I’m 39. I’ve been to many psychologists, psychiatrists, inpatient, residential treatment, tried too many medications to count, tried numerous alternative therapies, even had electric shock treatment and IV ketamine. When I’m going through a phase where the OCD is severe, I am not bored. It’s the opposite, but it’s pretty horrible. Sometimes when depression is more severe than anything, the biggest symptom is extreme sadness, but sometimes the biggest symptom is that I lose all interest in everything, and my favorite activities and hobbies, that I used to really look forward to and enjoy… well suddenly I feel no enjoyment doing them, as well as no enjoyment doing new things. It’s a really awful, empty feeling. And it is boredom. Making myself do things doesn’t help. It usually passes, but it can last for days or months. Why it gets better and why it gets bad, I’m not sure, but this part of depression for a lot of people. There have been studies that the brains of depressed people have differences than non depressed people, so I don’t think everyone who is bored could be choosing to be bored. I have learned to live with it. I also don’t talk about it with people who aren’t depressed, because for example, mentioning it to my parents makes them mad. Sorry. My comment probably doesn’t really help.
This article is terrible, blaming the people who are going through this. I’ve tried over and over to get past this but it persists. Am I really doing it to myself? I wish the author of this article had chosen boredom instead of writing such a piece trash
Ohhhh, depression is just a state of mind that I did to myself. Of course, once again someone telling me all I have to do is just be happy. YOU THINK?!? This is so much condescending bullshit I don’t even know how to process it.
Shut up boomer