The Life Of “IF” – In Pursuit of Happiness

In attempt to pursue a secure future, a future with seemingly obtainable goals and expectations, in pursuit of happiness, many fall into a vicious cycle and forfeit the quality of their lives in the process.

They work jobs from 9-5 living pay check to pay check. They hate Monday and can’t wait till Friday. They don’t seem to have time for anything other than watching TV and drinking beer. Their favorite word is “If”. If I could just get a raise, if I could just pay down a bill, if I could just get promoted, if I could go on vacation, if I could just buy that big screen TV, that car, or that house; if I could just get this, have this, or do that – then my life would be complete and I would be happy.

Unfortunately, for many of these people, the “then” never becomes a reality and it’s quickly replaced by more “ifs” – never happy, never satisfied, and always chasing something. The life of “if” is a lonely destructive road.

The life of “IF” is an attempt to settle for a mediocre life while convincing yourself to be happy with what you got. The life of “IF” is filled with the continuous pursuit of some arbitrary goal with the hope that it somehow completes your life. The cycle never stops and when you complete an “IF” you’ll find that you’re always chasing something else.

It’s like driving down a stretch of road from stop light to stop light. Sometimes traffic is heavy and it takes longer to get to a stop light, sometimes there’s no traffic at all, sometimes the stop lights are spaced evenly apart and sometimes they aren’t, sometimes the stop light is green, sometimes it’s yellow, and sometimes you have to run a few red lights. But the stop lights don’t end and if you don’t enjoy the time in between the stop lights all you’ll end up doing is going from one stop light to the next forever.

Let’s be honest, you only live once, and if you’re not getting everything you want in this life why would you be okay settling for a shitty life of mediocrity?

Why would you convince yourself or let anyone convince you that it’s okay to live a shitty life, “be happy because people have it worse off than you” they say.

I say fuck that!

Go get what you want. The best thing you can do is inspire others by getting everything you want. If you become the worlds first trillionaire then you could literally feed all of the starving people of the world.

Isn’t that a good thing to work toward?

The more you have, the more you can help others, and it’s not just about money because the more you have does not have to be a physical possession. It could be love, inspiration, and so many other things that you would have so much of it would just flood into others lives.

You’ve met people like this before. You don’t quite know what it is about this person but they seem to be positive all the time under any circumstances and they make you feel better immediately just by being in the same room as them.

YOU have the option to single-handedly improve the quality of life for those less fortunate people who have it worse off than you.

Do you think that you can do anything for them people by being content with a shitty life? Like somehow “you should be thankful for what you have” can help others?

Why don’t you try that out?

The next time you talk to someone who’s down on their luck or the next time you see a homeless person tell them that you are thankful for what you have and see if that gets them a new job, feeds them, or teaches them to be a better father, husband, or friend.

There are people who have less or nothing at all and you’ll find that this does not affect their level of happiness. There are many happy homeless people. Whenever we talk about homeless people we talk about getting them a house to live in. Or we wonder why they don’t go get help or get a job. It may surprise people to learn that they don’t want a job, a house, or money – that they are happy as can be living the way they do, but we treat them like they have a sickness.

Sometimes we want others to suffer the way we do and we won’t accept different. We put ourselves into their position from the wrong paradigm. We, with our homes and our jobs and our debt and our super awesome lives imagine what it would be like to be homeless. Naturally for most of us it’s not a good feeling. We then apply those feelings to homeless people and embark on a mission to rescue them, but I hate to ruin your party… most of them aren’t suffering.

In our history we’ve always done things this way. We couldn’t accept the “barbaric” ways the native americans lived so we had to force them to change, now they are all as unhappy as the rest of us, mission accomplished. Tribes that still exist today are among the happiest people on the earth while America is by far the unhappiest. How can we teach others to be happy when we are not?

These tribes have social structures and relationships that are so meaningful that we couldn’t even begin to comprehend them. They don’t have all the stress we have either. Their life is the way they want it to be and it’s simple. Throw spear, eat animal, pick berries, and enjoy life. They know no other way and don’t need to just because we feel like they need something we have.

As harsh as this may sound, the same is true for third world countries and even those in poverty or starving. They know no other life and didn’t even know they had a problem or that they were unhappy, we had to go in there and tell them because we applied our lives, expectations, and experiences to their circumstance – right intentions, wrong paradigm.

Happiness isn’t about what “things” you have so you can’t buy it. Happiness is a mind set and the only thing that matters is how you feel about your life. Are you achieving and accomplishing things? Do you feel appreciated? Are you positive? Do you appreciate yourself?

Happiness comes from within. Happiness is the translation of the external into the internal dialogue inside your mind. Thoughts invoke feelings and how you think about something that happens determines how you’ll feel.

I like to demonstrate that example by simply saying that it’s not what happens it’s how you react to what happens.

If a friend of yours dies and you don’t know about it will you be sad? No? Why not?

It’s because you don’t know that they died, but not knowing doesn’t change the fact that it still happened so why aren’t you sad?

You’re not sad because it’s not what happens its how you process it, so when you find out about it, what are you going to think about?

Whatever those thoughts are will determine how you’ll feel about the event, and the same is true for anything that happens to you or others in this life. Thoughts control feelings.

What you think about controls your life. Thoughts lead to feelings and feelings lead to action. Do your thoughts lead to inspiration or do they lead to inaction? You get to choose.

You can be thankful and still pursue your dreams and you can be thankful after you fulfill them. Being content is the enemy of action and achievement. Strive for happiness, not for contentment. Happiness isn’t about having a simple life; hugging a tree, becoming a monk, or having less – happiness is different for everyone and what physical things you have or don’t have are irrelevant.