You Are All Alone

People are infinitely different yet we are able to form relationships with others based on a small number of things we feel we have in common.

When we get to know someone we are only able to take snapshots of that person and recreate an image of them in our own mind. We can never get inside their head and think the way they think or feel the way they feel.

But every now and then we meet someone with a brain that operates at the same frequency as ours — for some things at least.

This causes us to finish each others sentences, say or sing the same thing at the same time, like the same things, or even think the same things.

But for as much as you think this happens, even with your soulmate, there’s a lot that goes through their mind during the day that you don’t know about.

There are things that are so normal to them that they may not even talk about or tell anyone about them because they’re so plain.

Your interpretation and understanding of the world around you is unique, not shared by anyone else, but most likely influenced by many.

This is what makes up the core of who you are.

No matter how many snapshots someone takes of you to recreate you in their mind, it is only a collection of still images based off shared thoughts and their own unique perception of you.

Not everyone processes the same person in the same way, not even with identical experiences.

We all have unique snapshots of each other.

If four friends grow up together sharing in the same experiences: Larry, Tim, Sally, and Frank. Larry, Tim, and Sally have all created a snapshot of Frank and while there may be similarities, you’ll find each person has a very unique way of processing Frank.

If you meet Bob the Mayor and don’t know him any other way, the image you create is Bob the Mayor. His name is Bob and he’s a Mayor. You probably picture him doing mayorly things while wearing a suit and being professional.

Maybe you’ve heard he has a bad approval rating, so you instantly change the image of him to Bob the Bad Mayor.

One night you see Bob the Mayor at a club, he’s smashed and busting moves on the dance floor.

Immediately you create another image of Bob the Mayor and link it to your first impression.

Now he’s Bob the Mayor but he’s also Bob the guy who can’t handle alcohol or Bob the guy who has serious dance moves. These all attach themselves to Bob the Mayor. When you think of Bob the Mayor you think of Bob the Dancer and Bob the Drunk.

He invites you over to have dinner with his family where he’s very well-mannered and kind. After dinner there’s some discussion and you notice he’s well educated.

He now becomes Bob the Husband, Bob the Father, Bob the Intellectual, and Bob the Friend. And the more you expose yourself to Bob, the more images you create of him in your mind and link together.

But no matter how many images you create of Bob, they are small snapshots of his life.

You can’t ever really know him, because you’re not him.

It’s similar to taking photos of yourself doing things everyday for the rest of your life. If someone looks at all your photos they’ll know a lot about you. Who you hang out with, what you look like, where you’ve been, and what things you like to do.

But they won’t really know who you are.

We spend our lives explaining who we are to those who are willing to listen. As we do this we help others paint a picture, but once you walk away from the picture, all you have is a still image of that person, there’s no life force behind it, nothing more to add to it.

The other person is left to assume a great many things about you based on the images they’ve created and the interactions they’ve had with you. These assumptions would lead you to say things like Bob enjoys dancing, which may or may not be correct.

Beyond the pictures you create in your mind there are many thoughts and emotions of that person that remain unscathed.

Until we can permanently link brains and thoughts together, it remains an impossibility to really know somebody.

Not your kids, not your friends, not your wife, and not your soulmate. Nobody except yourself.

Some people spend their entire lives trying to understand one another. We constantly seek companionship because it keeps us from feeling alone.

But when we close our eyes at night to go to sleep, reality sinks in. While you have company out there, inside this mind of ours, we are all alone.

As we close our eyes and fall asleep we’re standing on the mountain top inside of our mind yelling, “Can anyone hear me?”

And as the echo slowly fades away the only response we get is, “I can.”

“Who are you?”

“I am you!”