How To Become More Confident and Successful in Life

Confidence is all about how good you feel about yourself. It’s an attitude and there are many things you can do that will make you feel better about yourself regardless of what you are doing. People are attracted to confidence. You will gain more respect, authority, friends, and be able to function a lot better in life just by simply being confident. You may be scared shitless on the inside or really nervous, it’s okay.

Confidence is and always has been a key component to successful people around the world. Everyone has heard of the “fake it till you make it” mentality. A lot of people don’t think it works but I’m here to tell you otherwise today. But I don’t just want you to fake it, you have to fake it so good that you actually have convinced yourself of this confidence and the new you. You can be anyone you want and do anything you want, whenever you want. Once you start believing this is true, there are no longer limits for what you can achieve in life.

There does exist such a thing as natural ability that can give people really big head starts in life. Fortunately for you though, the majority of successful people had to educate themselves, work hard, and never give up to get their success. And fortunately for you there are a lot of beautiful and talented people who don’t make anything of their lives because they have poor attitudes. Attitude and personal philosophy is key.

Some Fake Things You Can Do To Increase Confidence

If you’re in a business or doing business, dress the part. Don’t show up to a deal looking like a bum. You have to command authority and respect at all times. Save whatever money you can and go out and get yourself the best suit and attire you can afford. Brand new Armani suits start as cheap as a $1000 and if that’s still too much, then ebay has them for even less if you have your measurements. If you can’t convince yourself you’re worth $1000 or that you can find $1000 then you’re already not listening to what I’m saying.

You need to push yourself beyond your comfort level, doing the same things you’re doing now and thinking the same way you’re thinking now, can only leave you in the exact same situation you’re in now. If you want to improve and be better, you need to think bigger and think better. Believe that you an acquire and that you deserve a new suit. But if that’s too much for you then get the best suit you can. And do yourself a favor, make sure the damn thing fits. Pay the $100 to get the suit fitted to you, even if it’s a suit you got for free. Don’t show up to a business meeting in a suit 10x too big looking like you’re in a football outfit and have shoulder pads on. People will judge your first impression, first by how you look, and secondly by how you talk. Look confident and talk confidently. Do not hesitate even if you’re wrong on something, speak with confidence. You’re the fucking man or the fucking woman, you’re the bomb biggady, act like it.

Another thing you can do when doing business is carry a large amount of cash with you, the largest you can come up with, even if it’s all you got. Carry $100 around, carry $1000 around, carry $10,000 around. Carry cash. This money is not for spending but go take out as much money as you can and put it in your pocket and tell me you don’t feel instantly better and more confident about yourself. Money talks and bullshit walks. Let money talk you into confidence while it sits in your pocket.

Maybe it’s not a suit you’re looking for with whatever it is you are trying to do and be confident about. It doesn’t matter, show up dressed for the part with the appropriate outfit on, buy the best stuff you can get and come with the best tools you can afford. You need to show that you are serious in whatever you do and that you come prepared for the job always.

Borrow someones car if you have to or rent a car for the day if you really need to impress for a meeting. Just driving something nice or luxurious can have a profound impact on your mentality that day. I drive either a BMW X6M or a BMW X5M and I can tell you as I race around that I feel a whole shit ton better. I don’t care what other people think or about impressing them, but I do care about how I feel when I get in it and the feeling I get when I press the gas, it’s magical. Sometimes when I get down mentally, a simple ride can bring me back up. Luxurious things can help you out mentally.

Conversely, when I drive my minivan around I feel completely normal and excited in a different way. The minivan is no longer about business, it’s about family. When I drive my BMWs around with kids in them I can’t stop thinking about ruined seats or dirty cars, when I drive the minivan around with the kids I could care less. I like being a dad and a family man that day and I have the confidence for it because I’m in the right equipment. Are you getting the picture? BMW = Business, Minivan = Family, this is one example of having the right tools for the job which helps your mindset tremendously.

Ego and Egotistical, There’s a Huge Difference

Ego is a fact of life and you can’t get rid of it. There’s no reason to check your ego at the door. You see, your ego is just how you view yourself and the things you think about yourself. It is very appropriate and good mental health to love yourself, feel confident about yourself, believe in yourself, believe you can accomplish and do anything, and so much more.

Having a big ego is a very extremely beneficial great thing, not just for yourself, but for others. It helps you lead by example and instill confidence and power in other people who see how you carry yourself. It can create a ripple affect of positive energy that can enhance everyone around you. Good coaches have a big ego, they believe in their team, they believe in themselves, and when they talk they can relay that confidence emotionally to their team. Every great coach can move it’s players and cause them to believe in themselves. Again, there is nothing wrong with having a big ego, the bigger the better, but what people really hate is when you become egotistical.

Egotistical is when you get to a point where in your mind you become a god or better than people. Egotistical is no longer about helping yourself and others. Being egotistical means you actually feel that you’re better than other people. Stay away from egotistical people they will only put you down while they inflate and exaggerate their abilities and capabilities.

Ego is about being great, Egotistical is about being greater than others. There’s a huge difference and I hope I’ve explained it to you well enough. If someone says you have a huge ego, that’s a compliment. If someone says you’re egotistical, it’s not. People with huge egos are responsible for shaping the world; they are great generals, inventors, businessmen, presidents, and so much more. You cannot become a leader or great in any sense if you think poorly of yourself, you’d be your own worst enemy. Imagine if Obama ran his 2008 campaign without confidence and belief in himself and the American people. It wouldn’t be appealing and no one would vote for him.

Real Things You Can Do To Improve Confidence

Beyond thinking yourself to confidence there are things you can actually do that will immediately cause you to believe and be confident.

Education

Education is the most real vital component I could think of. If you know what you’re talking about because you’ve read a book, studied, or learned first hand through experience; you naturally become more confident. You feel like you know what you’re talking about and aren’t confused when others confront you on a topic. You feel confident in giving speeches, holding meetings, and you don’t have to question anything you’re saying or be nervous about not knowing.

Education is key. Read as many books as you can, get training, go to conferences, listen to audio books, try things out for yourself, or watch someone do it. Get as much education as you can. Remember, when you know something…. you KNOW something. Anyone who thinks they know more than you or are better than you by simply stating I went to school for this or I have a degree in this, is just an egotistical asshole that you can do without. Just because you’re a doctor, a lawyer, or any type of professional with a degree doesn’t inherently give you the right to be right. Most Doctors and other professionals actually engage in a lot of general conversation they absolutely know little about but try to be confident and hide behind their degree, don’t be fooled.

I’ve seen it in every field. Someone who has a medical condition who’s seen 5 doctors and has read extensively on their ailment on the internet and studied it, more than not, knows more than most doctors do on it. When it’s personal, and personally affects you, there’s a tendency to get really educated about it. Don’t let a general degree intimidate you, there’s nothing special about degrees, except that a person was able to study very specific material, memorize it, and pass a test while most remain ignorant to anything outside of that.

Now if you run into a Doctor who doesn’t make a point of being a doctor and they start to tell you about their experiences or things they’ve read and aren’t being an egotistical asshole, then you might want to listen, but do not ever let anyone assume authority over you on anything just because of something they have achieved in the past or because of what they do. Remember, there are horrible doctors, lawyers, and people horrible at what they do in every field. Make them prove they know what they are talking about by honest debate and discussion (and yes, they will try to confuse you with irrelevant big medical or technical terms just to shut you up, be ready).

Practice

What better than practice? Practice makes perfect right? I don’t know if that’s true but I know through practice and application you’re bound to learn from your mistakes and you’re bound to learn things that work for you. You can read all you want but if you never flip a house or perform a real estate transaction, you will lack real world applicable confidence. In this stage of becoming confident you take what you know and apply it.

You can’t read about basketball and the game, never play, and think you’re going to be really good. Get out there and shoot the ball and practice your skills.

If you’re an investor, then actually do some investments and learn. If you’re a business manager, then how about managing a business instead of talking about your business degree.

In this step, what real world accomplishments and achievements do you have to accompany your knowledge that is going to make you confident?

Whatever it is you’re trying to gain confidence in, practice it. Practice as much as you can and put in the hard work, it will pay off in the long run.

My Personal Story

In my life to get to where I am today, which isn’t where my party stops and I’m not mega rich, but I consider myself to be pretty successful. I used the “fake it till you make it” approach. While I was faking it I was studying my ass off. In the past 6 years, oftentimes I would work 18 hours a day 7 days a week. I would read, read more, write, try things out, talk to everyone I could, listen to audio books, and just learn. In 2007, I walked off my job making good money for the Department of Defense with no plan, only confidence that it would work out.

I told everyone at my job what I was going to set off to do and they all said I was crazy. If I were egotistical I would do burn outs in their front lawns now with my BMWs but I never said anything to them, in fact, a lot of the people I worked with are still my friends today. I accepted they just weren’t read for that journey in their lives yet. Most people never take the journey, they hide behind safety nets and sanctuaries, running from high school to college to a safe secure paying job, never really taking a risk and never really receiving the reward from taking a risk. When I walked off, in my mind, it was not a risk, it was an opportunity. Most people miss out on opportunity because its dressed in overhauls and looks like work.

I got into a situation once where I had no choice but to buy a house on a credit card. It was a cheap house about $45,000 and I still had the limits because of my old job and credit score. After I bought it, the bank jacked me over and demanded payments that we had not agreed on. My credit came down from maxing cards and I had no real income because I had quit my job, but I decided I was going to get a home equity loan.

Where did I start? I didn’t go online and apply, I didn’t go to the bank and apply. I put on a suit, wrote up my business plan, printed off any documentation for income I had, and I walked into banks requesting that I meet with the President or Vice-President of the local branch. Surprisingly, but not so surprisingly because of my appearance and confidence, I got to meet someone important at every bank. I got several no’s, but later in the day I met with the VP of another local bank and I explained to him very clearly what I had done and that I would not qualify for a loan on a normal application and I needed his help. Guess what? He said yes and I got my loan a week later and the crisis was solved. I cannot stress enough how appearance and confidence are so vitally important in the business world and everything you’ll ever try to do.

Back to the original story, I walked off my job, no 2 weeks notice, no warning, I just left. I had no plan, I had no money, I just had a knowing that there were better things out there for me and if I worked hard I would find them. I spent 6 months running red because I still had bills while living with a relative and eating McDonalds or not eating at all because there was no money. I had a wife and 2 kids that loved and supported me during this time and I will tell you, that made a huge difference.

During that time I tried to get into real estate because I always had an interest in real estate investing and still do, but it was at the end of the market crash and wasn’t likely a good place to start. During that time I was also working on Internet Marketing. I would spend up to 20 hours a day in the basement of my relatives house working on a computer and thinking up ideas. I worked and I worked and then one day I had a small break through. It wasn’t much but my business started generating a $1000 a month in passive income. I kept at it. A few months later $3,000 a month, and I kept at it. At the high point of this last run my business made $50,000 a month in profits.

Since then I have slacked off but the business is still functional and pays the bills. Right now, I know there’s something out there better for me and it’s probably time to move on. I know where I’m going to start and I’m excited for the change and the opportunity. I might go bankrupt, I might lose my business, I might lose my cars, but I’ll never lose myself. I am my most valuable resource and when you understand and believe that yourself, no material objects external to you matter. Go solo or find a life companion to accompany you on the journey, but you are your greatest resource.

Resources

There are a lot of resources out there to help you out, without knowing what you’re trying to do it makes it hard to recommend anything but general things, but here’s an idea of where to start.

Tony Robbins – Awaken the Giant Within

Wayne Dyer – The Power of Intention

Napoleon Hill – Think and Grow Rich

Stephen Covey – Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

For your specific field, find books written by authority figures and read them. Find biographies on people you admire and read them. It’s really simple, start now and inspire yourself to be successful and confident.