When Your Best Isn’t Good Enough

What happens when you’ve done your best but your best just isn’t good enough for your partner?

Some people won’t accept that you are giving it your best because you don’t do things exactly like they would.  It’s really aggravating when you may not even agree with what needs to be done in the first place, but you give it your all anyway, only to go unnoticed.

The real problem is that your partner is trying to change you and you should never have to change someone to be with them.  If you feel the need to change someone, then you probably shouldn’t be in a relationship.

Here’s part of a quote by Bob Marley: “So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give.”

It says her, but it goes for him too.

Don’t try to hurt him, don’t change him, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than he can give.  In love, you have to accept with blind trust and faith that each person is giving all that they can give.

If you can’t accept someone, you will never have any relationship success.  It is improbable that you’ll find someone that acts the way you think they should or does the things you think they should do.  In fact, that wouldn’t be a relationship, that would just be a clone of yourself, you would be extending yourself through them.

In the movie the matrix, Agent Smith simulates what a virus does as it clones itself and eventually takes over the system.  In the scene below you can get a visual for this act.

When you expect people to think the way you do and do things the way you do, you are really nothing more than a virus.  A virus seeks to destroy everything that isn’t like it, it’s primary goal is to take over hosts, cells, and continuously thrive. When you try to extend yourself or push yourself onto someone, you are a virus.

If you want something done, do it yourself.  Don’t try to clone other people into marching to the beat of your own drum.  Entering a relationship shouldn’t come with the requirement to forget who you are and become what the other person wants you to be.

If you find yourself constantly repeating the same things over and over again and you are sure that the person heard you the first time, you are a virus.  You are the problem not them.  In fact, you’re probably affecting them more than you know by chopping them down, stressing them out, and hurting their self esteem and happiness.

You are a virus and you need to be eradicated, at least from being in a relationship.  You are a toxic person that is truly unworthy of the company of others.

If someone has heard you, it’s up to them as to whether or not they are going to act at all or change.  If they don’t then you have absolutely no choice but to accept it.  Accept it and then decide what to do next, however, repeating yourself or badgering them is completely unacceptable.  When you sink to that level you become the greater problem.

In your partners eyes you are now all that holds them back and all that stresses them out.  Where you once made them happy, now you make them unhappy.

Was the trash really that important to take out?

Some people get caught up in a storm and just lay into their partner over a compilation of small things that are so irrelevant and pointless.  In the end, these toxic people destroy happiness.

It’s not the trash that mattered, it’s not that they didn’t take little Billy to the movies, it has nothing to do with any of that.  The cold hard fact is, you are a virus, you’re an unhappy little person, and your happiness has nothing to do with what anyone else in your life is doing or not doing…it has only to do with you and your small minded world deep inside of you.

You are the cause of your own unhappiness, being happy is a feeling, and feelings come from within.  You get to choose how you feel, others cannot do that for you.

So don’t take it out on those around you, those you profess to love.  Your actions towards them speak way louder than whispering I love you.  It’s hard to believe what you say when all you do is cause them pain.

Like the parent spanking the child while telling them, “This hurts me more than it hurts you…”  The fact is… no it doesn’t.