Accepting Flaws with Unconditional Love

You’ll often hear people tell you that if you truly love somebody that you’ll accept them for who they are, flaws and all.

I like to say that when you truly love somebody you don’t see any flaws and that you accept them for who they are.

Critics have found problems with both of those sayings.

However I believe it’s not a problem with the saying but rather a problem with the interpretation of the critic. There are base assumptions everyone has about true love and if you haven’t really experienced it you can’t really understand what the base really is that would make both of these sayings “flawless.”

When I say I don’t see any flaws, it doesn’t mean that the person doesn’t have any flaws, it means that the person doesn’t have any flaws to me.

The reason they don’t have any flaws to me is because when you truly love somebody, you stop judging. If you do not judge somebody then you aren’t comparing them to anything other than perhaps your expectations of love. If you’re not comparing them to anything or anyone else, then the word “flaw” cannot actually exist.

A flaw is the act of judging somebody in some area compared to what you think is flawless in that area.

Your significant other is not on the runway nor have they entered the love contest. There isn’t a panel of judges holding up a score to rate them on appearance or performance. When there’s nobody judging there’s nobody to score your significant other, in fact, you don’t even keep a score.

When there is no score, there are no flaws, there just is what is.

There’s no too fat or skinny. There’s no ugly or beautiful. There’s no judgement in true love. There’s no bad habits or good habits. There’s just you and your partner and they do what they do and you do what you do.

Women seem to be more self-conscious than men.

They interfere with true love by judging themselves even though their man has already accepted them and shown them unconditional love. Sometimes they don’t seem to be good enough for themselves, something I have a hard time understanding.

They always want to look better, it’s always boobs, butt, wrinkles, stretch marks, cellulite, losing weight, exercising, toning, and on and on. Some women just can’t accept themselves for who they are.

That doesn’t mean they should sit around and get fat it or let themselves go. Everybody has to feel good about themselves. So if there’s something you don’t like about yourself that causes you not to be happy, then fix it. The way you fix it is by being you and doing what you’re all about.

If you want to exercise more but haven’t been then do it, don’t hold yourself back from doing the things you really want to do. Don’t do it for your significant other.

You may find at the end of the day that although they support your mission to “better” yourself, that you’ll always be fine and they will treat you no other way no matter what type of physical or mental modifications you put your body and mind through.

This is true love. If you’re trying to transform yourself because of a critic then they haven’t accepted you for who you are and their opinion of you matters more than your opinion of you.

When that happens, you haven’t found true love or yourself for that matter.

True Love by this definition is flawless. Not because you’re blind or infatuated and can’t see the flaws. Not because you’ve identified flaws and accepted them. But because you are not judging your partner.