I can sum this song up into one simple phrase. “You don’t know what you have until it’s gone.” but that wouldn’t be very philosophical now would it.
Another brilliantly written song that found a new way to make you understand what it means to lose things you take for granted.
The first 7 lines tell all:
Well you only need the light when it’s burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you’ve been high when you’re feeling low
Only hate the road when you’re missin’ home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go
The only time you need light is when you don’t have any, but when you have it, you don’t think about needing it.
In places that have four seasons or get snow, the phrase “you only miss the sun when it starts to snow” is a reference to warmth. I live in an area that gets snow and when it starts to get cold everyone starts complaining about how short their summer was and wishes it would stay warm for longer.
But this lyric seems miswritten to me.
It should be “Only miss the sun when it gets cold” because there is still sun while there is snow on the ground and I’ve even seen it be partly cloudy with sun coming through as it snowed. The author meant this to be a reference to feeling warm when it’s cold.
The catch phrase “Only know you love her when you let her go” hits the nail on the head and explains what this entire song is about. When you love someone and they are gone from your life, for whatever reason, you feel an emptiness and a sadness as you realize how much that person meant to you.
The second verse picks up with more examples.
“Only know you’ve been high when you’re feeling low” is a reference to euphoria or happiness. Without feeling happy you can’t feel unhappy, to go from a high to a low is something we can all relate to. One minute you’re on top of the world floating above the clouds and the next you hit rock bottom.
“Only hate the road when you’re missing home” is a reference to how traveling can both be a blessing and a sin. I’ve gone on road trips before where it was excitement the entire way and I’ve gone on trips before where I had to leave my loved ones behind and was not very enthusiastic about the trip.
The next part says he loved her all along and has to deal with what has happened.
Staring at the bottom of your glass
Hoping one day you’ll make a dream last
But dreams come slow and they go so fast
You see her when you close your eyes
Maybe one day you’ll understand why
Everything you touch surely dies
This part heads directly into self-reflection. Staring at the bottom of your glass is a symbol of drinking and depression. She’s in your mind and you pray that she’ll come back but the reality is she’s most likely gone.
So now he’s left with just memories of her and all of the mistakes he’s made. In the end he just wants to make sense of it all.
“Everything you touch surely dies” means that he has made other mistakes in his life, maybe it’s not his first heart break, so now he views himself as a repeat failure. It represents the idea that maybe he’s not good for anyone or anything.
Then comes the chorus to hit the point home again.
Then we get more depression and reflection in the next verse.
Staring at the ceiling in the dark
Same old empty feeling in your heart
‘Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast
Well you see her when you fall asleep
But never to touch and never to keep
‘Cause you loved her too much
And you dived too deep
This verse describes his thoughts while laying in bed. He still feels the same sadness of missing her. He thinks and dreams of her frequently but it doesn’t bring her back to him in reality.
“Cause you loved her too much And you dived too deep” is not something I’m entirely sure about.
The first part is a realization that he is heart broken because of how much he loved her but “Dived too deep” is a confusing lyric.
It could mean that he gave it all he had from the depths of his heart or that he literally dived too deep, meaning he drowned or died on the inside by going too far from her.
I don’t think it means that he put too much into her because it would conflict with the other lyrics.
Followed by the chorus then:
And you let her go (oh, oh, ooh, oh no)
And you let her go (oh, oh, ooh, oh no)
Will you let her go?
This signifies there might still be hope or something he can do to get her back. If it doesn’t mean that then it has a weird twist to it where he hasn’t actually lost her yet but is separated from her and is reflecting on whether or not he really wants to be with her. This would explain why he is drinking and sleeping alone.
This is followed by more parts of the chorus and ends with “And you let her go”
If he was separated then he decided to let her go, if he wasn’t, then he decided there was nothing to be done about it and he let her go.
Either way, she’s now gone.
When relationships end, the bad starts to fade away and all you’re left with is the good. These pictures are symbolic of what you’ll remember. You won’t remember the fights or arguments, you’ll remember this. Take that into consideration when you’re thinking about letting go.
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"Cause you loved her too much and you dived too deep" means one thing.. That when you love someone too much, you ultimately push them away, and when you dive too deep, you fall off the face of the planet (run from someone) and leave them in the cold. Or the last line could simply mean he was so invested in the relationship that he can't get over her now.
So really it all comes down to how this line fits in with your life. In my case, I loved my girlfriend too much, and I dived too deep in to the relationship-side of things and it ultimately pushed her away.
That's a great way to look at it!
I agree that is a great way to see it but I like your version better. My cousin and her husband are soo in love but his love for drugs is more. Falling into drugs makes everything he touch dies and no matter how good she is with him he dived deep into his adiction. I don't know, I thought this song fits her ;)
Oh and obviously he let her go because that is not a life for her
Soo in love with a junkie? Geeez.
Touching me
I'm going through the ending of a 6 year relationship right now and happen to run across this song on you tube and someting told me to click on it, and I'm so glad I did because it hit a home run on what I've been trying to tell him so long now and that's "let me go". We have been seperated for almost 6 months living apart from one another, but still seeing each other a few times weekly and I started noticing the changes in him after the 1st month we were apart, he started treating me different than all the secrets and lies (one after another) but he kept insisting nothings changed, but in all nationality he was getting deeper and deeper into a drug addiction, then very recently I find out he had been sexual with others and lying to me about it the whole time. I kept telling him it was hurting me to watch him let his addiction mean more to him than I did and his family did, but once again he said that was a lie and drugs weren't the most important, but he was only lying to himself and I know he has to know that, especially when the words "I need to get High" are what you hear from him the last 3-4 months, more than you hear "I love you, I want & I need you". I've begged him to stop and told him he is killing our relationship until I've become exhausted and to the point that I'm constantly crying because the man that I fell so in love with isn't that man anymore and even though I still love him, it's time to let go because you can't help someone better if they don't see their addiction problem themselves and want to do better for themselves. The meaning of the song to me when I heard it was my ex boyfriend's addiction, "only feeling High when your feeling low" and he dove in to deep with his addiction and seen it's time to "let her go" before she walks away for good...that's just what the meaning of the words to the song meant to me because of what I'm going through at this time...
SHELL: How weird that you would say that and so recent. My ex dedicated that song to me. We are both recovering crack addicts, I will have 27 years sobers this Xmas God Willing.... he’s still out there. I wish it were that simple... to recognize you have a problem and want to better. I have been there.... it is literally a waking hell... knowing there is a way out, grabbing on to it... and losing it over and over. **i can’t compete. Let me know if you want you ever need an ear.
Aww Im so sorry Shell. I think what you're doing is best. Im dealing with a similar situation rn too where I haven't seen or heard from my boyfriend in over a month because my parents dont support my relationship. They told me before my sixteenth birthday that my relationship is over and he wasn't alound to go to my sweet 16 party. On top of that I can't use social media because my parents think that it's "unhealthy" to keep contacting him, and i'm constantly getting my phone taking away (like how I am rn) and even my chrome book which I think is bull, bc I keep asking my friends if they can text him to come to my sporting events, but I just recently found out that my parents know what and when I text my friends which I think is hella creepy and wrong. But I keep telling myself that I will see him again, It might take a long time but I will see him again. We have always had to deal with unfair rules from my parents but not like this. But the last time that we could talk he said that "we'll get through this, we always do." And that hit me so much saying that, "ya we WILL get through this and we WILL see each other again." I'm just sad that he and I are missing out on a bunch of fun things that we can do while we are teenagers, like special events, school dances like prom, sporting events and other stuff. But My parents decided that it was a good idea to ruin there daughters teenage life. Thanks
Dear shell,
I am so sorry to hear this! I sincerely hope you get better, and that he will stop with his addiction.
I know how hard heartbreak is, but at some point it will all get better. Like this song says, sometimes you need to be able to let go and understand. Remember, even at the worst times, you will always have someone or something to comfort you, (even if it does not feel this way). Someone will be with you, no matter what. Again, I hope you get better,(or are better)
I agree that it means getting too involved, or too in love with someone who may not feel as strongly. Basically like falling for a one night stand, or being friend-zoned by your crush. The end result is the same... you love her, so you let her go to be free to be happy.
As someone who has experienced loss of a partner after the sudden death of my mother when I was 20 years old, the phrase "dived too deep" meant going through depression and dealing with the loss of my "guidepost" in life. I had to let the pain of her absence in my life go so I can create me life on my own.
Emily, don't give up! I dated a bunch of guys who seemed so into me and the relationship at the very beginning. They would say they just knew we were meant to be together; they would seem to rush toward seriousness, wanting to make big plans, etc. then then the moment I caught up and said, Yes, I want to be with you, I want to commit to this and go deeper, they would break up with me. I finally decided that in the beginning of a relationship, no matter what a guy said or what promises he made, I would just HEAR: "I like you, and I'm excited about you." And I'd wait to see how things went and what kind of person. He was and where our relationship would go over time. My husband turned out to be the guy who Actually just said, "I really like you and I'm excited about you, and I think this is promising," at the beginning of our relatuonship. He had no inflated promises. Over time, we really got to know each other - including all of our faults and vulnerabilities - and then we were able to commit to the relationship and take it deeper. This is the one that lasted. Skip the guys with the big promises before they really know you. Or wait to see where it goes before you take those promises too seriously. Great guys are out there. You can find and build a lasting relationship with a great guy. Don't give up!
thank you so much.. your words are encouraging me to believe that there are great guys out there.
You are so right Anne. They make us believe that they are the only one. But it is just an illusion of how they want us to see them.
Dear Annie,
That's such a great perspective, when you open yourself to someone based on just words...you can possibly be opening yourself up to get hurt.
Annie, your vision and understanding of commitment is truly admirable.
Dear DJ Spectrum,
For clarification, did you and her talk about how you were feeling? With the series of bad events that occurred in your past, in fear of getting hurt again...you made the decision for yourself and for her to let her go?
It could also mean that you invested a lot i nthe relationship and thats why he misses her so much.
Mine is were I can't get her out of my head and I just wish she was here but its my fault and I have to live with it and move on.
Im in the same boat as you were Robert. It sucks though because had i not of loved her too much we'd still be together. :(
You never can love to much, if you have the right partner.
That is true Drea. It resonates. If you love too much and makes the other person uncomfortable, they should communicate instead of running. When you run and let go - you lose everything
In 6th grade I liked a girl really much but I think I went to far and pushed her away from the real me. This song always brings sadness to my heart, but you know we gotta get moving in our life.
Hey Robert how long was that relationship and did she ever come back?
Dear Robert,
To love someone "too much" and to dive "too deep," it rings of regret. It seems with "love someone" and "to dive," it means to fall in love. When you fall in love, sometimes you don't really know how far or how "deep" you plunge, but you're abandoning your sense of control -- with love, it's not by choice.
At times, you're not even aware of your feelings. With love, it could be euphoric but it also has the capability of being the opposite -- "love sick." Every relationship comes with both good times and bad times, but that needs to occur. Without the bad times, you can't quite understand or cherish the good times. Also, it's about learning the other person, no matter how much each persons or couple are "meant to be." The process of learning the other person is to strengthen the bond and to allow for that bond to grow. During that learning process, there will be challenges...but how will those challenges be overcome?
Many of us enjoy being in the state of being content and/or happiness, but challenges are meant to bring discomfort. Otherwise growth cannot occur. During this time is most likely when the "pushing away" happens. And depending on how much each persons in the relationship could cope and how much they are willing to fight and work through it, will depend on whether or not the relationship succeeds. The likelihood of failing or overcoming the situation will most likely be determined by the two individuals (maturity, coping skills, experience, strength of conviction, etc) and their environment (how much support from the community? Friends? Family? Etc).
When discomfort becomes too great, one person may decide to exit and no longer choose to fight for the relationship. When that happens, he/she may wake up one day and realize..."Sh*t, I was in love," or even, "Sh*t, I had it good." When that happens, the feeling of losing the other person becomes even more unbearable than the discomfort felt while in the relationship.
So, this song is just asking an individual who is at that pivotal moment to think and feel (to see both sides +-) before they make that decision, instead of acting hastily. Sometimes you're given an opportunity to try again and sometimes you're not, but if you're not...you'll be stuck in the situation this singer is in.
Wonder what your outcome was, Robert?
I see this song differently... recently my mother passed away so it kinda u know... seem relatable about my grief...
Thank you - strikes home exactly for what I am going through. I wish I could have backed the fuck off...I had many chances...but it's really difficult to not be yourself. Also, not related exactly to the lyrics, but I feel like your heart / instincts feel her slipping away, even just a little bit, and pushes you to try and hold tighter. When all it really could have been was a little cold feed or need some space, but I wasn't able to give it to her. Chased her out of my life...Granted she wasn't super straight forward about it for a long time until five days ago...but yeah. I know this is is 5 years later to reply to your comment but...another great song that strikes a chord about letting her go is Dean Lewis - Be Alright
When it says let her go. I now know exactly what was meant by that. My husband had a BIG stroke, a half month after he turned 56, and i heard this song every time or more as i went to see him every day, he lasted a month and a half in ICU, and was transfered by ambulance to several places, eventually, he went into cardiac arrest, they revived him, and called me, TWICE! it wasn't untill i said, if it happens again, JUST LET HIM GO,That i realized, when i was able to feel again, what that statement meant, cause i heard it every day and more, for a month and a half, that i could not allow them to continue bringing him back to life, just to keep letting him die over and over again. I LOVED HIM TO MUCH, to do that to him, even though i couldn't stand to loose him, after 33 yrs together. I begged him not to leave me here alone, cause i really thought he was coming home some day.😥 the signs were there, but i guess i was just naive, and didn't want to believe it was a possibility i could loose him. I now think, im the reason, he suffered far longer than he should have, cause, selfishly, i didn't want to loose him.😭 may God and my husband, forgive me!
Beautiful explained, I feel Ike we all could really relate to this song being a significant other or just a loved one. Thank you again. Also I see your a league of legend type of guy. That's awesome you got yourself a good girl there, hoping your still with here.
As always in life we all have our own interpretation.
My take on this song is more of life a game of contrasts
and that you can only appreciate one side of things when you have also experianced its opposite.
light dark. sun snow. love loss etc.
I also hear a reference to life being ever changing amd nothing lasts.
love to all.
Maybe he dove too deep into someone else's you-know-what like my husband, who only knows he loves me now that i'm gone...
Tamz, right on. That is what is going to happen to my husband of 25 years.
And he never stopped loving you, they always think the grass in always greener on the other side.
We all have different meanings of songs. The guy is in love with a sociopath. He knows she is but loves her so much. For his life to be better....he has to let her go. She causes him great pain. He knows all to well what is going to take place but can't allow himself to feel the pain of a sociopath leaves behind time after time. He knew better to open himself up ....but hoping she would change. He dove to deep to turn a blind eye to her behavior. Yes, he will miss her. He loves her. She has played him time and time again but yet he knows when she plays him this time....he can't take it....so he will let her go hoping ...just hoping. Will he let her go? That is the question. She causes pain and chaos. She is not good for him and he knows it. Has to let her go to be able to move on with his life. He will not forget her...but he's got to let her go for his on well being. You do not have to agree.
Wow, this song and this comment really sums up my feelings with my recently ended relationship. I barely knew what a sociopath meant a few years ago, but over the last year have come to learn a lot after falling in love with one. At first she was wonderful, we laughed, made love and had some wonderful times, but as time passed she let down her facade and it became only about her. No matter how much I gave, surprise gifts, doing errands for her, trying to make her happy, she just wanted more and never reciprocated. I came to realize almost everything in the relationship revolved around her and it left me feeling empty and used. I kept telling myself, it's just a phase, but it wasn't. She was draining me emotionally to fill her narcissistic supply and I had to end the relationship. Deep down, I loved her but had to let her go to protect myself and my own well being.
Your comment has me thinking now, that sounds all too familiar to me right now.
I don't see anything in the song that is even remotely about a sociopath or narcissist.
This is so True... I'm going through this right now and I have to say that the part of the discovery that your significant other is a sociopath is the hardest part.
You basically have no chance to make the relationship work and have to leave...Cold decision but eventually the right one.
I'm glad your the only who has a different interpretation. It's true about sociopaths, they Just take and take until you cannot give anymore and instead of fighting back for you they turn it around on you as if you were nothing.
If I had an answer to my situation I can say this song made perfect sence to me. Before getting locked up and sent away I spent my last three weeks with my ex..no fighting or nothing...but she knew I had to focus on doing my time so I let her go.
Dear Anthony,
I hope you were not locked up for too long and once you completed your time, you were able to reunite with your love. I might be a sucker to believe this, but I feel that true love transcends space and time. But it's interesting you let her go, were you afraid to keep her trapped? Instead, you were noble and loved her enough to set her free. It's been several years since you posted...I hope she was waiting for you. ☺️
"Well you only need the light when it’s burning low" means to me something quite different. When you're truly in love with someone, you let your heart lead you, listening to it more than you actually do with your brain. So when "it's burning low", the heart's light go off (the fire of love disappears) and from that point, you start not to listen what your HEART says, but your brain. LOOK at Passenger's body language when he's singing this lyric and you will better understand what I wanted to say. :D
This is anpit my ex forsure . He loves o ly one thing his ego. He meets a girl and they give him the attention he needs then they want what deserved back. He does gove the attention back but he wants more back. They so realize he is only anout himself. But the keep in the relation ship but hold the attention back for him. He gets upset and lets her go. But in reality he can live without the attention o he trys to run back. Only to find they do t want him because they discovered whay kind of man he is. So he lives alone thinking the same meaning of this so. But he could never live a true healthy relationship.
Sprry for the bad mis spelling typing via cell phone. Lol.
Everyone has an individual "meaning" to this song just as every other song touches the hearts of many by what Our hearts and mind searches for.. We all are in search for true meaning in our lives and explanations for what we feel..
"Music touches the soul"
Depending on what "life's situation is, each my one we listen it may have a different meaning.. I know it did for me..
It has always (to my soul) expressed a deep spiritual need.. for something greater then ourselves to lead us to answer of our heart. What ever tat many be in each heart.. anything we can relate to touches the soul,and gives us direction..
Mind body and spirit.. Balance in ourselves ,any relationship & any or all life's situation or circumstance.
My faith and spirituality can bring any song that touches my heart to relate to a circumstance in my life. And depending the the type of emotion I am feeling, if I am searching to let go,to hold on it simply have hope & faith.
From sun rise to sunset we all make choices we hope bring us closer to the happiness we image.
Ultimately no one knows what tomorrow will bring.. All we can do is feel we have make better choices then we did the day before. And lean on a force greater then ourselves "depending on your believes"
I a a very spirtauly person and my faith in God is strong .. My mind body and spirit identifies the need to love and be loved.. When I focus on one person to fulfill that need,I will become lost and overwhelm the chosen person..
I believe with A relationship a commitment is based on "love" .. When our hearts become threatened of being broken from a troubled relationship we focus more of "fixing" the problem and we loose ourselves in the process..
a commitment is to have compassion,faith to have wisdom through the hardships in which we feel sad as well as "the flying high from feeling happy.. As with any circumstance we find a strength and we follow the right thing to do.
This pertains to our relationships, any type..
Be patience, compassionate and believe.
I choose prayer and faith to re-direct my focus on becoming the woman that God sees in me, rather the being consumed by a fallen or troubled relationship,love, patent/child, friendship or even professional ones..
Keep in mind Everyone's emotions are different and endures or deals with loss, disappointment or pain in a unique way, we all have different levels of strengths and weakness: coping skills, .. Be Understanding Be truthful Be compassionate and be Patient will lead to the outcome of any situation or circumstance we all want.. A peaceful one.. God bless you!
Thank you for bringing a Christian perspective to all this