Sex plays an important role in every relationship. Sexual incompatibility is a hard pitfall to avoid. Partners with different sex drives end up sacrificing for each other to keep things peaceful. It is very important to find a partner with near equal sex drive in order to avoid potential conflicts.
Your partner has a natural instinct to express themselves sexually. It doesn’t matter which partner is sacrificing more than the other, both will begin to resent their partner for their sacrifices, and each will feel the sacrifice they are making is greater than their partners.
Being unable to fulfill your partner’s sexual needs can only end in disaster. While sex may not be important in some relationships, a mismatched sex drive between partners can create severe dysfunction.
In a loving relationship, sex can create a powerful emotional bond to another person, not to be confused with the type of interaction found in a one night stand. Sex doesn’t have to be premeditated, spontaneous, or prepared. You don’t have to spend hours on foreplay to get the benefit that sex has on a relationship. Although those “big bangs” might be “more” enjoyable for you and your partner, sex is a bonding ritual that has the same subconscious impact no matter how it’s performed.
The subconscious component of sex is one that many of you can probably acknowledge. You become familiar with another persons body — the way they feel in your arms and the way they look to your eyes is unique.
The hardest part of moving on from the relationship is the awkwardness of having sex with a new person that you are unfamiliar with. In some cases it feels wrong and “dirty”. Sometimes you don’t realize how it affects you emotionally until after you’re finished. This subconscious rebinding process can take a long time to rebuild if you were in a highly intimate relationship. The less physically intimate the relationship was, the easier it is to rebind to someone else.
I am only referring to sex, there are other things that require rebinding when you enter a new relationship. Cuddling, sleeping next to each other, and many other things can be awkward at first. The simple act of running your hands through their hair can feel shockingly different and unexpected.
However you look at it, sex is a necessary and vital component of a naturally functioning human being, it is a need, not a leisure activity. Until you understand that it is both a physical and emotional need, no different than food or water, you will continue to run into relationship issues.
The more sex in a relationship, the more your ego attaches to that person, and the more attached you become emotionally and physically. The more attached you are emotionally and physically, the more likely you’ll end up with some form of passive control.
When the sex dwindles in a relationship, the emotional / physical bond begins to deteriorate. There’s less cuddling, less snuggling, and a greater separation of lives between the two people. Yes you still love them, yes they are an important part of your life, but the emotional bond has faded because it hasn’t been maintained on the intimate side.
Fortunately it is relatively easy to reconnect. The act of simply having sex again and more frequently can rebuild an emotional bond a lot more quickly than anything else. If you do nothing else together for an entire day, make sure you save time for sex. It is the most explosive, energetic, and emotionally bonding experience humans have at our hands.
You’ll find the simple act allows people to forgive some wrongdoings, drop petty arguments, forget their complaints, and feel love again. However, if you frequently use this as a tool to make up for a lacking of communication or to cover your differences, it will become obvious, sooner or later.
Eventually, neither person will want to be intimate anymore because they realize it’s only creating a temporary fix to severe relationship problems. But for the minor nuisances you have with each other and with life, you can be happier and more grateful with each other, just by getting jiggy with it. A bad day at work can be turned around rather quickly with a little bumping and grinding.
You need to be absolutely certain you’re meeting your partners needs and they aren’t just remaining silent. A 1-800 hotline should be created to report intimate neglect in a relationship, that’s how serious it can be. If your partner wants to be more intimate, then you either find a way to make it happen, or you deal with the issues that result from it.
If you’re feeling emotionally detached from your partner or you feel like they don’t care anymore, you could be running into a physical intimacy issue. There are other causes for a lack of physical intimacy, besides just lack of willingness. Weight gain, sexual dysfunction, sickness, sarcasm, arguments, and other things can cause your partner to lose sexual interest in you.
If you can work toward a solution so you both get what you want, great. But if you have mismatching sex drives or needs, you’re asking for all kinds of problems. Balance sex the way you would food. If you eat too much you’ll get fat and lazy, if you don’t eat enough you’ll starve.
Great points, I concur.
Great points, I concur.
Sex often clouds any relationship. You should always build everything else and let sex be the reward otherwise if you build sex first there will be nothing that follows.