Us men do stupid things.
We end up destroying a marriage or serious relationship by blaming the other person for problems with ourselves, which causes us to take actions that cause more problems, and eventually a breakdown in the relationship.
We carry on under the notion that we have been wronged or screwed over…until we meet someone new and get what we think is further confirmation that we weren’t the problem all along, after all, how could it be us when we are capable of having such exciting and perfect relationships.
The real thinkers begin to realize that they aren’t even the same person in this new relationship, that all of the things their ex had a problem with they no longer do, we are somehow different and changed.
Some of those thinkers begin to make the mistake of assuming that they can reconcile their differences with their ex after realizing that they were really at fault all along. And now, now that they have experienced a great relationship full of love, they feel that they can go back to an old relationship and show that person what perfect really is.
They actually feel they owe it to the other person, especially if kids are involved. Who doesn’t want to reunite a family? In a way it might feel like the right thing to do.
We imagine the men we’ve become transported back in time into the relationship that we fucked up and how perfect it would be now that we’ve become much wiser.
While we sit there thinking about the old problems and how they would all go away we tend to picture how perfect that old relationship could be, now that we are who we are.
So we abandon our perfect now with confidence thinking we can make our old relationship perfect and our families whole again, but we fail to see one thing.
Even though we are now a better and different person, even though we know that if we were like we are now, but then, that we never would have broken up or separated.
The thought process looks kind of like, “If you could just give us a chance now you’d see that we won’t have the same problems as our old relationship.”
What we ignore is that the other person has either changed too much or too little in the direction that would make a relationship with them again perfect. It is a failed expedition to think that because we fixed ourselves that we can fix a relationship too.
We can’t, not only did you have a problem with your ex, but your ex had a problem with you, and 99/100 times only one person corrects themselves.
People that have gone through a self changing transformation belong together, not with their ex, your ex was just your teacher. You and your ex can’t be together, one of you is enlightened and the other is not, it just wouldn’t work.
In the process of reconciliation you destroy the best thing you ever had because you were too stupid to realize that the other person had a significant contribution in making it special.
You alone, cannot make a relationship work, not with any ex, or any other person that isn’t willing to contribute.
Your innate primal commitment to your family is always going to be in the back of your mind, you will always regret either the act of reconciling or the fact that you didn’t try, unfortunately us men have to learn the hard way most times.
All men fail and all men make the sacrifice no matter which way they decide to go. What is really being put to test is our current persons ability to forgive and accept our faults.
Any women that takes you back after an attempted reconciliation is a very spiritually enlightened (or extremely stupid) human being, only time will tell. To accept that men are not without error, to understand our primal motivations, and to forgive, are really key characteristics of what makes a woman great.
There isn’t a single man on this planet that can say with straight face that they have not considered both how and if they should reconcile with a baby momma that they were once serious with in order to preserve the sanctity of a family.
You may have fixed what she didn’t like about you, but she probably didn’t fix the problems you had with her, so even if you do reconcile you’ll try to get your perfect relationship started and realize that while maybe you’re perfect for her now, she’s still the same mess you left and it will just irritate and annoy you if you try to make it work.
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